The freeway traffic, while still overall faster than surface streets, is worse in the evenings than in the mornings. To avoid frustration, I take surface streets home after work, slow and easy. Often that works great, but lately I’ve been struggling with anger control. Today someone blew a stop sign and I had to avoid them, since I was already going and it was my turn. I tailgated them for a bit, they tried to shake me, I followed them some more, and then I drove in a different direction because I knew it’d gone too far already.
When I got home, I calmed down, and then I started self analyzing and criticizing myself, and I started getting worked up again. Actually getting angry about getting angry, and that’s when I realized I’m addicted to anger. I have to break this cycle.
I searched online about rage addiction and anger management. I think my anger problems are largely caused by my low self esteem. The common symptoms of low self esteem aren’t a selection; I deeply identify with and can provide numerous examples of each. I have written down five rules for my own consideration, and I thought it would be good to be open about it.
1. I got this!
2. I am equal in dignity to all others.
3. Learn from the past, plan for the future, dwell in the present.
4. Forgive by default.
With the exception of #3, these concepts are somewhat alien, at least lately. I seem to recall #4.
and in other news, the insurance debt collection has moved towards wage garnishment. time once again to call an attorney, but I suspect that hiring one will quickly exceed the debt total. I haven’t read the documentation yet, but it looks like, aside from the attorney angle, there is consideration of amount based on wages / expenses, and there is a process for requesting an exemption. I’m not looking forward to having my wages garnished, but I am looking forward to getting this resolved, and it will be resolved through action.