I managed to keep my sleep schedule mostly normal through my first week of not drinking by pushing myself physically. Everything went to shit friday night. Let me back up a little bit first. I haven’t been smoking as much weed, I’ve been trying to get high mostly from vaporizing cannabis oil in pre-filled cartridges that I can buy at a clinic. It’s a lot less harsh, but I still like to keep some flowers around, because vaporizing is not the same, and sometimes I need both. So early last week I picked up some of the strongest flower I could find, just to have on hand. I like it, but I don’t want to waste it, so I bought some cheap medium grade flower on friday to have over the weekend.
So I smoked some of the medium stuff on friday night to try it out. Went to bed around 10:30 PM, woke up at 3 AM because the Carbon Monoxide alarm battery was low. I didn’t figure out what was beeping until 6 AM. finally got back to sleep around 6:30 AM and slept til 1 PM. I was up for 8 or 9 hours, smoking weed and playing video games, and eating, but I could not keep my eyes open. I went to bed super early, and now it’s 3 AM Sunday and I’m wide awake. I just awoke from a super crazy deep brain dream about a girl I knew briefly in Chico. Naomi was one of the first girls I ever cared about; feelings weren’t mutual. We cuddled under the stars once on a magical night I can’t believe I can still remember. 18 years ago.
None of that was in the dream. Everyone was younger – or perhaps timeless, I’m not sure. It wasn’t in a set place or a set time, but there was a wonderful feeling of normalcy, of casual intimacy, as me and my companion (whose identity is blocked from me at this time, they weren’t strange in the dream) encountered Naomi while traveling, somewhere, and she got some time off work to go with us somewhere else and talk and laugh. Things went better than I expected and we had sex. Me and my companion continued on our vacation or trip or whatever, and Naomi went back to work and life went on. In the dream, Naomi was a blonde pixie from days past and familiar, nameless. Everyone was nameless. Dreams are weird like that. I awoke quite suddenly, just as I was beginning to reminisce about my sexual encounter to my companion and wonder if there would be more. BOOM.
I awake with a start, and this next part doesn’t usually happen. Usually I forget the dream, or vaguely remember the contents, but today, I woke up and brain said, You know what? That was Naomi you just dreamed about. I was in shock. Then I remembered the parts of the dream I just wrote about. The brain is a strange and mysterious thing. I don’t think I’ve thought of this chick in many years. I don’t know what her last name is, where she lives, if she’s alive, or ever got a degree. I can’t say for sure she’d remember me. I feel like I knew who my companion was in my dream, but some sort of line was drawn when I woke up, and when Naomi surfaced I blocked out the other person. My memory of them in the dream is literally blurry, like their identity was hidden in a photo.
Now I’m struggling to not assign meaning to coincidences.