3 thoughts on “

  1. 1. This sounds like a reaction to a specific event; what happened?

    2. Genes and behavior, I suspect, is a much researched and debated topic. Clearly you are tall and thin because of your genetic make-up. I suspect that genes influence rather than define behavior; you may be able to overcome genetic influences, but you’re never gonna be short and fat.

  2. No specific event. I haven’t made any friends since moving to Stockton, and that bothers me. Regarding coworkers, I’m greeted by name 99% of the time. I think of different things I could say when alone, but greeting another coworker is a struggle and I usually only get out a “sup” or “hello.” I know most everybody’s names, but no matter what I rehearse in my head, saying “hello, name” is a huge problem.

    The counter example is getting someone’s attention. If I need to talk to someone, and they’re walking in the opposite direction, saying “Hey, name!” to get their attention is not a problem. No struggle at all.

    It’d be easy to not talk at all, just walk past people like they aren’t there. I did that often with the non-outside people in Gardena, and I suffered for it, socially. I want to be friendly – not just so I can selfishly benefit, but so I’m not bringing people down.

    I knew my new year’s resolution was going to be: “Don’t be such a dick” a couple months in advance, and I thought I’d try something I’ve heard before: “Fake it until you make it.” Obviously applicable to various problems; but I can’t even do that. Smiling is completely off the table, unless I recently heard something funny, or the other person is already smiling.

    • This is a behavior you can change. After the first time you initiate a “Hey Peter, how are you?” the second one gets easier. Remember, these folks are not hostile toward you, you are all co-workers.

      I saw you you get perfect attendance and perfect grades at tech school, so I *know* you can do whatever you set your mind to.

      When I worked at First Fidelity, I never said “Good morning” to all the old secretaries who had been there forever, and it later came back to bite me. Being friendly in the workplace is important.

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